We have a lot of followers and readers from all over the World, so, I want to make sure anyone reading this first understands the particular situation we find ourselves in in West Michigan, as, I can only truly speak to the experience we're having directly - though, I have spoken about this issue before to fellow colleagues and have had others tell me this is definitely not a problem exclusive to this area. But, nonetheless, let me paint a picture for you.

West Michigan is a very conservative and medical area. Business is good, but, it certainly isn't booming in this area for birth workers. Most people here still do not know what a doula is and if they do they often have a false impression of what they actually do (ie: a LOT of people think we just attend home births and/or deliver the babies, etc.), and, very few care providers (including home birth midwives) will recommend them to their clients. If anything, we're experiencing more and more of the opposite - WARNINGS NOT to use doulas. 

Why would they do that? If they knew how much a (good) doula could benefit their client - and actually make their jobs easier in many ways - wouldn't they be eager to jump on board? You'd think. So, why don't they? Lactation Consultants and Child Birth Educators are in - so, why not doulas? 

Now, of course there is the motive that the natural birth movement and birth workers could argue...that a less informed, more "go with whatever you suggest" kind of client is ideal in a lot of ways. Not only will you pretty much be in complete control, high intervention births are profitable. I'm not saying I disagree with this, because, I DO think there is a lot of "big business behind the curtain" stuff going on here. But, I don't think that's the full reason this is happening. 

There is at least 1 CNM and I've heard of a couple other OB's locally who will not work with doulas. 
This is a BIG deal. 

Just a few things I've "heard on the street" from CP's, Nurses, Midwives, and Mothers: 

• "She locked herself in the bathroom with her client and delivered the baby."
• "She gave direct advice to her client repeatedly and it resulted in death/injury."
• "I was accused of voyeurism/rape/molestation."
• "She smacked the nurse."

whoa. Say WHAT?! 

I know, I know....the grapevine, right? Believe me, I take all this with a grain of salt.... I understand how things can get distorted and misinterpreted even to the people directly involved. I also know people are far more apt to tell a bad story than a good one. Still. This IS what's being said - and it is at least one of the reasons care providers are hesitant to work with doulas.

So, what's the deal here?

I'll tell you:
There are absolutely NO regulations in doula work. ANYONE can just start saying "I'm a Doula" regardless of training or actual experience.

So, you'd think getting certified would change that, right? Qualify them and give them a network of support and someone who mentors them and/or holds them accountable? 
If you thought that you would be wrong. 

The truth about becoming a Doula: Where Certification Falls Short
I can't speak for every certification process out there because there are SO many. Crowning Lotus included. I have looked into most, however, and can tell you that the following isn't super far off from general requirements for becoming a "certified" doula.

When I became a doula, I went through DONA because they were the longest standing and seemingly most reputable (and accessible) certification out there (most doulas who are certified are certified through this agency). I began my training all wide eyed and eager to serve my community. SO excited to meet all the amazing women doing this work. So, I paid my money and took all the proper steps to achieving my certification. This is what that included:

• Pay money
• Attend a weekend long workshop covering basic childbirth education and doula work
• Read a specific amount of books in different categories (but, I did not have to produce any sort of proof that I had read them)
• Take a breastfeeding class
• Start practicing on women (attend 3 qualifying births in which the parents and CP's must fill out a very short survey for, and, I had to also submit notes and summaries of each birth.)
• Agree to their "Scope of Practice" and "Code of Ethics" (An essential part of this process, however, there isn't much of a way to enforce it unless someone reports abuse of it).

Now, this is important: We were told NOT to shadow an experienced doula, we were NOT given a superior or mentor who got to know us and offered support other than someone who went over our certification packet or would call us if there was an issue or complaint.

What surprised me is 60% of the women in my certification class had never even attended a birth. I had already attended 2 before I discovered the word "doula" and decided it would be a good path for me. I thought, knowing how hard being on call was, 'man, how could you invest all that time and money and just not 'know' for sure this is what you want to do?'

It then occurred to me then that at least some percentage of women were going to figure out that they are actually NOT doulas while attending someone's birth. And, given a lot of women look for bargain or cheap doulas and end up with someone in training, I worried that this might be detrimental to the industry. And, I was unfortunately right in that assumption.

Here are just a few things I've heard from mothers who have had this experience with their doulas:

• "She kept taking smoke breaks, then after 8 hours said she was tired and going home. By then, I was glad to see her go."
• "She didn't show up because she decided to go on vacation 2 days before my due date."
• "She really didn't do anything at all."
• "She argued with my nurse and made us all really uncomfortable."
• "She just seemed like she expected them (the nurses/CP's) to do something wrong and it created a weirdness. She was great to us and did a good 'job', but, it was just kind of awkward."

​I always feel terrible when I hear a story like this, because I know that now this is this woman's perception and story of what a doula is, and, that's not good for an industry that is trying to establish itself into the mainstream. 

Overstepping boundaries and having a distorted sense of what the doulas role is and should be can lead to what I would sometimes call a "rouge doula" - someone who believes it is her responsibility to protect her client from the "bad guys" (AKA: the care providers who might try to give the mother something she didn't want or plan for). Someone who either disregards or misinterprets the difference between supporting informed choice in a nonjudgmental way and giving actual advice to her client. She may even go so far as to do medical things like cervical checks, monitoring baby, etc. Now - there is a word for that - Monitrice. So, let's get this clear - this isn't about that there are people out there doing this, it's that perhaps they are doing it while also identifying themselves as doulas. 

Either way, we can't go into births with expectations to be anyone's hero. We are there to help her be her own hero - a strong woman fully capable of following her intuition and make her own decisions (even if they don't reflect what we think is "best")! For me, as a doula - I have informed her of her options, letting her know the pros and cons of every angle. That releases me of responsibility of any and all outcomes. I can sell someone some tools, but, I can't take credit for the house they build with them. You dig? 

Good Intentions Aren't Enough
Another piece of this puzzle stems from birth workers AND the natural birth movement as a whole promoting this one idea of 'the way birth should go'. In this way, we're not only making ourselves look bad - but, we are also absolutely hurting women. We hold natural birth up to the light as the most beautiful and sacred thing because we want women to know it's possible, and, for the most part - achievable....but, then it leaves the women who "could not achieve that" left to wonder how or why they "failed". When, the reality is, a woman CAN get every intervention and still leave feeling totally empowered and positive about the whole thing. The key isn't in how "natural" her birth was - it's how informed, heard, and respected she felt every step of the way.

{I digress.} 

So, what's a doula to do? Tired of this, and irritated by a weird divide in our doula community which also seemed at the time to completely lack very many welcoming arms, and, being the kind of person who can quickly identify voids and what needs to happen to fill them, I decided to start creating the community I needed as a doula. Then, I began taking on students who were eager to learn from me. While hand training doulas through an apprenticeship model I saw what was sorely missing in our traditional method of certification. Not only are most doulas not receiving any hands-on learning with someone more experienced, they are also unsupported (and unsupervised) almost entirely. So, basically, There is no one they really need to answer to, and the majority work alone in their practice.

Meaning, if they jack up someone's birth, give "bad advice" (which, they shouldn't be giving actual advice at all), overstep a boundary, or don't even show up....who are you going to complain to? 

This is why this industry is like the Wild West to me. It's lawless and for the most part it really is every (wo)man for themselves. We can't seem to agree on what is and is not acceptable for a doula to do or not do - and most honestly just do what they want anyways. This is not only detrimental to the parents and care providers who work with them, but, also to doulas as a whole. We NEED someone to talk to, to learn from, to process with - and to have our backs in real time. If we can't make it, we need to be able to provide our clients with the option to have a back up called in. If we're struggling in a birth, we need people we can reach out to for ideas and encouragement. If we see something traumatic and need to process, we need a trusted mentor or teammate  we know honors confidentiality. This is REALLY hard work! It blows my mind that most doulas do it alone.

Now, I'm not saying there aren't a LOT of really, really, really GREAT doulas out there who are doing incredible work either on their own or in an agency or collective. I know many who are killin' it!! However, there are enough 'doulas' out there falling short and it contributes to a reputation that we are now ALL getting, and I think we need to acknowledge that and begin to set a different standard so we don't shoot ourselves in the foot and end up banned from more CP's and eventually hospitals. 

I'm not saying I have all of the answers. We have our way of approaching this, and, I'm sure we're not the only ones. All I do know is ignoring or denying it isn't going to help us and that we must consider the impact our lack of action or attention to this issue could cause. 

I think more than anything what Parents and their Care Providers want and deserve the most is to know that the person they are working with is qualified, knows their role, and respects the boundaries and professionalism required to work within a team. Because, I KNOW there is a way we can all work together and make maternity care in Grand Rapids, West Michigan, This Country, and the WORLD a better place to birth. I think we all want the same thing for the most part - we just need let ego go and realize not any ONE of us are "the key" to making that happen. That actually happens when we all do our part to create a balanced whole with the mother-baby in the center of it all - and ALL their needs considered above all else.  

​WE > me.

What are your thoughts on this? Discussion is important if we want to find resolution.
Comment below!

You will need to decide what kind of care provider you wish to work with. Understanding the difference between an OB/CNM and Homebirth Midwife is important. If your pregnancy is healthy and normal, a Home Birth Midwife or CNM (A "Certified Nurse Midwife" who usually delivers in hospital) may be an option for you - if it is high risk, you may need to see an OBstetrician and have a hospital birth.

It's important for you to know that you can make the most out of whatever care you end up needing to go with and to always follow your intuition. What's right for you won't be right for everyone and vise-versa. Do your homework, ask questions, and DO YOU.

​Most people are not pregnancy and birth experts when they get pregnant, and, it's easy to assume that our care providers are going to fully inform and support us through the process...but, that's not the case. Your care providers job is to take care of you from a medical standpoint. Not to prepare and inform you, not to provide you with hands on support, and, not to prepare you for parenting.

It's easy to become overwhelmed with questions, concerns, or even knowing which directions to go seeking the information you (actually) need. hiring a Pregnancy or Birth doula is the best way to clear the fog and rest assured that you are being provided the most up to date, evidence based information AND receiving the support you and your partner will need. 

Follow-Up Articles:

• What Does A Birth Doula Do?
• Everything You Need To Know About Birth Doulas
• Understanding The Difference Between Doulas and Midwives

Lesson #1 in becoming a mother is SELF-CARE. It is so important that you prioritize your needs and find ways to take care of yourself from head to soul. Massage, Yoga, Meditation, and nutrition - these are simple ways to incorporate self care into your life that can become an integrated part of your every day. Developing these habits now will help you immensely when the baby comes and you will need these breaks more than ever.

We seriously suggest checking out and investing the $15 into the "Spinning Babies Daily Essentials" video which will guide you through daily and weekly practices that will promote healthy, more comfortable pregnancies and births by encouraging Optimal Fetal Positioning. Their website is also a wealth of knowledge!

A common concern for couples can be how pregnancy will effect your sex life. Every woman - and every pregnancy is different, but, generally - sex is not only safe, but healthy during pregnancy!

Choosing a song to sing to your baby from around week 32 (when the baby can really start picking up sounds outside of the womb) can have a wonderful impact on both parents and baby. Sing this song to your baby every day and then let it be the way that you greet him or her when they get here. Even if you think you "can't sing" - your voice is the most beautiful thing your baby has ever heard.

Getting plenty of rest and sleep is sometimes easier said than done. Taking good care of your body through yoga, meditation, and nutrition will also help you contribute to easier sleeping patterns. Sometimes eating a bowl of oatmeal and a banana before bed can help sustain your body and assist in longer sleep sessions along with positioning, warm baths or showers.

Most pregnancies are completely normal, however, a small percentage of women will experience one or more of these complications. Taking good care of yourself prenatally is a great way to prevent these things from happening, however, sometimes no matter what we do we may have something come up. 

It's important to research ALL options regarding prevention and treatment BEFORE consenting to interventions such as induction or cesarean (unless it is an emergent situation, in which case you must do whatever necessary to have the healthiest outcome possible).

Over 8+ years of witnessing childbirth of over 100 women has taught me a lot about what works and what doesn't. 
Here's what you should know.

NUMBER ONE.
GET PREPARED.
You wouldn't run a marathon without first training your mind, body, and spirit.  

MIND.
Make sure you have worked with a professional to put together a great birth plan. A birth plan is more than what it seems. It's a way to become fully informed of all your options regarding all routes your birth may take as well as a communication tool between you and your care providers. This is essential. 

Don't just go in assuming you're going to have a positive birth experience with no plan of action and no support. Many people do this. Most fail. You MUST understand that the 'system' in place is set up for failure more than success. If you want a positive birth experience - natural or not - you MUST be willing to ask questions, speak up for yourself, and be willing to participate in your care according to your own plan - which you made when you were lucid, not exhausted and in the throes of labor. 

This is another reason why a doula is of great value to the birthing process. She knows you, knows your wishes and will be there to remind you what YOU wanted throughout the process. When you're both too tired to remember, feeling overwhelmed with the many things that might be offered to you, or simply ready to throw in the towel - you need someone in your corner who isn't loyal to anyone but you who can be your lighthouse in the fog. 

BODY.
Throughout your pregnancy, diet and exercise will greatly contribute to how you feel while pregnant as well as how your labor will go. Yoga, Belly Dancing & Swimming are three of the best things you can do for your body while pregnant to keep your body in peak physical condition for labor.

In your third trimester, there are many ways you can prepare your body for a much easier birth. I'm not going to give away all of our secrets (gotta leave something to be desired), but, the one secret I will give you is to get serious about Optimal Fetal Positioning.  Getting your baby in a good position for birth can mean the difference between a productive, shorter labor and a prolonged labor with positioning complications. Do yourself and your baby a favor and pay attention to this. 

SPIRIT.
More than anything, you must believe you can. 

Becoming a mother is an intense experience - as it should be. Preparing your spirit for birth and motherhood is crucial. Unaddressed fears can, and often do, hold a woman back from opening up to her child. I have seen this time and time again. She's so nervous about X, Y, and/or Z - maybe it's the pain, maybe it's becoming a mother, maybe it's how it might affect her relationship with her partner - maybe it's even sexual trauma that she remembers or maybe even doesn't...it could be a number of things that keeps a woman from relaxing into allowing her body to open up and birth this baby. 

Prepare your mind by journaling your truest feelings and fears about all of these things, have an open and honest dialog between you and your partner - sometimes couples therapy is a GREAT place to start when pregnant. It doesn't mean anything is "wrong" with the relationship, you just both need to be heard and be able to get these emotions out so you can be on the same page BEFORE the baby comes. It's a responsible and reasonable thing to do. 

Find your tribe as well. Plug yourself into pregnancy and/or parenting groups in your area and start talking to other mothers about their experiences. If nothing else, this will probably make you feel much less alone and unique in your experiences. Along with this, positive affirmations regarding birth and parenting can help a LOT. 

NUMBER TWO.
Avoid ANY Unnecessary Interventions.
The Golden Rule: If It Ain't Broke - DON'T FIX IT.

Remember that you are responsible for advocating for yourself. You do not "need" an induction simply because you're over 40 weeks. No one can accurately measure a baby and be absolutely sure how big or small they are - so, inductions and cesareans based on this are often unnecessary - but, you won't know that until the baby is out. There is nothing wrong with asking questions and practicing INFORMED REFUSAL when necessary.  If nothing else, you will feel more informed and an empowered part of the decision making process.

This also applies in labor. The language often used in this process is very matter of fact. The nurse comes in and says "OK, we're going to do _____ now." - and if you don't know any better, it's hard to even recognize that what's happening is in fact an intervention. When it's treated as "routine", you feel as though this is just what happens and tend to go along with it without question. 

EVERYTHING should be a conversation and you should always explore your options. IV's, breaking the water, medications, 'pulling' out the baby or the placenta....sometimes these things are necessary, but, you aren't going to know unless you have a conversation with your care provider about it first. These are all things that happen extremely routinely in most hospital births which can lead to problems in your labor. 

Our article on this topic, Interventions in Childbirth and the FIVE Secrets to avoiding them, is quite helpful and provides a script to know how to approach these conversations with your Care Providers. 

NUMBER THREE.
It's not pain that is the enemy. It's exhaustion.

Once you are exhausted, it becomes extremely hard to cope with anything. Pain, hunger, irritation, and, well, basically everything. Usually labors start out slow and not very intense. This is a good thing. This is your time to GO TO SLEEP. If you can't sleep you are still chilling out, laying low, resting and relaxing. 

Whatever you do - DO NOT exert all your energy to "get labor going". Labor WILL "go".
No one has ever been pregnant forever...

The problem is, labor usually starts 'getting real' hours (sometimes many hours) later. By then, if you've already walked for miles, danced around, bounced on balls, and ran up and down your stairs - you're hit. 

This is epidural city - So, don't do that.

Rest, relax, and SLEEP all you can. 

NUMBER FOUR.
Ignore labor until you can not ignore it anymore.

One of the biggest mistakes people make is getting all excited and running right into the hospital.....where you will get no food and no real sleep. Stay home as long as possible, until you feel like you're having trouble coping and/or feeling an urgency to go in (beyond the normal anxiety feeling that you should run in). The longer you are in the hospital the longer your labor will "feel" - ignoring it helps hours go by before you're really counting "being in labor". 

Babies rarely pop right out...and you will know. If you're able to cope at home, then cope at home. 

Women get very excited about going into labor. It's completely understandable. You've been patiently (or sometimes impatiently) waiting for 10 months, maybe even seen your "due date" pass you by, and now contractions are starting to feel like they might be more than the normal crampy bull spit you've been dealing with daily. I get it. It's SO exciting!!

Just remember that early labor can last sometimes for days -  so, at some point it is NOT going to be as "exciting" and you will have wished you had gotten that rest you needed when you could. Make a plan for early labor that can keep you distracted. Find ways to overcome the excitement and relax and rest during that time. Believe me - there will be a time when you can not rest or relax anymore....THIS is the time to get to work and use those stores of energy.

Some suggestions:
Hot Baths | CALM | Organic Red Wine (obviously, in moderation) | Watching Comedies | Foot & Hand Massages | Meditation | Yoga | Aromatherapy

Side note of 'when to go into the hospital' (this is all 'at your own risk' advice, obviously):  If your water breaks before labor starts - don't go in until the morning. Stay home and relax, eat, and sleep in your own bed. There are many ways to monitor yourself the same way they would monitor you in the hospital (simply take a log of your temperature periodically, count kicks, stay hydrated - and if you have a heart monitor, check in every now and then...this is pretty much all they are going to do for you there anyways). "Risk of Infection" is a default concern...as long as you have some common sense about this (ie: don't shove anything in your vagina, stay hydrated - maybe even take some vitamin C), there is little risk of this happening - and there are warning signs.

Same thing with inductions....go in in the morning - not at night. If you go in before bed time you're going to miss an entire night of sleep before this all even really begins. Try to get through the night if you can and plan to go in in the morning (after some good breakfast). Remember, THE LONGER YOU ARE IN THE HOSPITAL, THE GREATER THE WINDOW FOR INTERVENTION.

NUMBER FIVE.
SURRENDER.
You are NOT in control - and that is OK. 

It's so important that you remember that IF YOU FIGHT THIS - IT WILL FIGHT YOU BACK....and it might win. 

This is where your team is an important asset to your success. You need people you trust who you will believe when they say that it is OK to surrender. 

I know it's hard. It's completely counterintuitive to give in to anything that is causing us discomfort and keeping us from sleep. But, if you can find a way to do this, your body will benefit from the extra energy it doesn't have to waste on fighting what is happening. Practice this during your pregnancy by surrendering to your discomforts, to the pregnancy process, and by visualizing labor and repeating daily affirmations which reinforce your ability to see birth as a normal physiological process that you are more than capable of enduring. 

Remember....BRING IT ON.
Don't run away. 

NUMBER SIX.
Get off your @ss and GET MOVING!! 

Once active labor has hit (when you can't ignore it anymore), don't lay around waiting for things to happen to you. This isn't productive and it's far more painful. 

Be an active participant in your birth! 

If you lay in bed or stay in ANY one position too long the baby can get in a funky spot which might prolong labor, dilate the cervix unevenly, and cause far more discomfort (ie: "back labor"). When babies get stuck, they might need help getting out. If you wish to avoid the medical version of this, the get that booty moving and shaking! This is the number one reason you should wait as long as absolutely possible to get an epidural (if that is something you are considering). If you get the epidural too soon you will not be able to move in the way that is most helpful to facilitate birth and you will greatly increase your chances of a cesarean. Remember, when you can't move - your baby has a hard time moving, too. 

Check it out.

NUMBER SEVEN.
Don't forget to breeeeeeathe.

Duh, right? 
I know, I know. This is no secret. But, there is a technique I have been teaching people for years that seems to really help.

Incorporating mindfulness to your breathing will take you a long way in birth. 
Here's how:
You will sort of 'know' the contraction is coming before it fully comes - at the very first inkling that it is coming you draw in your first slow, conscious breath and bring your awareness to the crown of your head. 
As you breathe out - slowly (the same amount of time you drew your breath in) - you release any and all tension from your head down. 
Focusing on your brow, 
then your jaw, 
then your tongue (always an open mouth), 
then your neck and shoulders, 
down your back, 
through your hips, 
down your legs and 
out your feet....
the whole time breathing in and out slowly and evenly (count if that helps - 5 seconds in = 5 seconds out). By the time you get around your shoulders/hips the contraction will already be subsiding. continue to release that energy through your feet if you so desire. 

Practice this at night when you are going to sleep for more restful nights and to master this before your birth. It also helps to have your doula/partner look for places of tension in your face/body and to gently bring your attention there and be reminded to release it.

Here are a few other breathing techniques - find what works for you and don't forget to PRACTICE!

NUMBER EIGHT.
PUSH!

First and foremost - wait for the uncontrollable urge to push. Even if you are 10 cm, it is best to "labor down" and allow your baby to come down naturally through contractions until you feel this urge. What does the urge to push feel like?? The best way I can describe it is like throwing up. It's involuntary and it feels as though your body is trying to purge your baby from you. There's no mistaking it when you feel it. It becomes the hardest thing in the world NOT to push at this phase....this is when to go ahead and allow yourself to push (IF your cervix is fully open). 

Push in a position that feels good and productive for you. Your care provider will likely want you on your back or in a semi-seated / semi-recline position. We hear them say things like "You know, there are actually a lot of studies that show it doesn't matter what position you are in to push." We know this isn't true - that physiologically the pelvis is NOT at it's maximum capacity when on your back. But, by their own logic - if it doesn't matter which position, then why not let the mom do what feels good and productive for her? 

WHY ARE WE MAKING THIS PART OF THE JOB EASIEST FOR THE CARE PROVIDER?! 
Why are we making ANY part of this "easier" for the care provider?? This isn't about them. They get paid a LOT of money to work FOR YOU, so, remember that it is about you and as long as you and your baby are healthy, there is no reason not to allow you to do what you need to do to get your baby out.
...and guess what?? Babies tend to come out just fine without being pulled out manually (which, in my experience is done 9 times out of 10 - they seem to have a real hard time NOT 'doing' anything). Being in a position like hand and knees, squatting, or standing makes it more difficult for your Care Provider to 'get up in it' and manually pull your baby out - which can lead to injury of your baby and most of the time will lead to lacerations of the vagina. Slow and steady wins the race. No pulling.

Do yourself a favor and DO WHAT YOU WANT (even if that means being in a semi-recline position). If they truly think you need to be in a different position, ask them to tell you why. No one should be telling you what to do or how to be without some kind of logical explanation - and don't be afraid to call bull shit. Wearing a white coat doesn't make anyone infallible and you would be very surprised how little the medical field knows about normal birth. They are not trained in this - and with most hospitals epidural rate residing between 75-90% and cesareans happening to 1 out of every 3 women - they just almost never see it. So.... Show them.

IF something goes wrong and you actually need the help, THAT is when it's necessary. 
Remember - The Golden Rule with all of birth is: If it ain't broke - DON'T FIX IT. 

When I was being trained to become a doula, we were told about how children can sometimes recall their births in exact detail. I was pregnant for my third and final child at the time and became very excited by this study and decided that when the time was right, I was going to ask my child about their birth. The rules were simple - don't ask any "leading" questions and wait for a moment that felt right, when the child is lucid and offers the information. 

About 3 years later I was watching a birth video on YouTube (not uncommon in this doula's homestead) and my youngest came in and watched the tail end of it with me (ha! Pun intended). When it was over he said "the baby came out?" and I said, "Yep. The mama and the baby worked together and the baby came out and was born! Isn't that cool?"

"Yea! That's how I came out of you body, too." 

This is the moment. I felt it in my bones...he was lucid, curious, attentive - and he seemed to know what he was talking about. So, I said, "Yes it is! Do you remember what that was like?"

And, he said...

"Yep. I was coming out and then I bumped my head and had to spin around." 

Jaw. Dropped. 

You see, human babies are born literal fetuses because our hips are narrow and our heads are huge. Most mammals give birth to walking, functional babies. Humans, being the only two leggeds on the planet, must give birth earlier in order to get the baby out when they still fit. This is also why our babies need to breastfeed and be attached skin to skin to the mother for some time after the birth. We are sort of like kangaroo's in this respect, but, I digress - back to the BIRTH of humans.

It's important to remember that you actually don't need to know anything at all about birth because your body already knows everything it needs to to get your baby out. You don't have to sit around thinking about how to develop your baby's lungs or create 10 fingers and 10 toes, right? So, don't overthink birth, either. The best thing to do here (and, ultimately - the hardest), is to get out of your own way and surrender to your body - and your baby's -  innate wisdom.  

The Initiation of Motherhood and of LIFE

A big part of this process is about your baby finding his or her way out of you as well as you finding the strength within you to do the same. Birth is an initiation for you both. 

For you, it is an initiation, a rite of passage, into the privilege of becoming a parent responsible for this life. When we go through labor we face many things about ourselves. The entire pregnancy can be seen as a trial of initiation and the birth the final part of the process. Through the entire experience you will absolutely emerge a changed person capable of great struggle, sacrifice, and triumph for your baby. This will happen no matter how your birth goes - but, absolutely IS more powerful when a woman consciously chooses to be an active participant in her labor. Anything we work hard for we tend to appreciate more in the long run. This isn't right or wrong - it just is. Giving birth is hard, but, once accomplished, most women feel and incredible rush of relief, pride, and victory....and love. So much love. 

For your baby, it is an initiation into life itself. An experience that connects us to all other humans and forces us to face the unknown, to problem solve, and to overcome fear and discomfort. All the makings every human being must have to survive. If you really want to get philosophical and dig into the Divine meaning of birth...and us...we could actually look at the significance of the number seven as a number of completeness, divine perfection or something that is finished. The number 7 is represented in this way in many religions and cultures - take it or leave it, I thought it interesting and worth mentioning.

Babies must make Seven Cardinal Movements in order to get out, and unlike you - they have no real idea of what is going on...they have no choice but to trust birth and do a lot of work and go through a painful process to get out of you. 

So, when my son said "I bumped my head and then I had to spin around" - he was telling me about a conscious process that he went through during his birth. He actually had to process the information. "Hm...that's not working. My head will not continue to fit through here...." and then actually problem solve in order to get out "Maybe I should turn my head this way". 

Remember that when you are in labor. 
You are NOT alone.

Pregnancy and birth can sometimes feel like an Island where you are all alone - but, you're not. There is a whole world of experiences going on within you. Tap into that and take comfort in knowing that you are a walking talking miracle who is holding space for a lifetime of possibility. IT'S NOT FOR NOTHING. Continuously connect with your baby. Remind yourself and him/her that it is OK and continue to visualize meeting eachother for the first time. Remember that it's all impermanent and that no one has ever been pregnant or labored forever. 

This is all important to understand because it reminds us why it is important to be an active participant in your labor and gives motivation to go natural - and to remember that if your baby can do it - YOU CAN DO IT, TOO! When we are able to listen to and move our bodies as needed, we increase our chances of having a faster and more productive labor and delivery because we are working with our labors, not just sitting there and waiting for everything to happen to us. Plus, your baby will know and feel you working and moving to help him/her. It is your way to show support to your child as s/he comes into the world. 

In the videos below you will see the way a baby must turn to get out and a video where the importance of positioning before and during labor (and how it contributes to length of labor) is explained. 

So, you want to give birth naturally - but - almost everyone in your world thinks you're crazy. You need to know it's NOT you....it's everyone else who has drank the kool-aid. Here's what you need to know so we can change the "story".

In our culture, we are surrounded by women who are convinced before they have ever even tried that they can not give birth without rescue - and they all work very hard to convince the next mom down the line that she will also not be able to survive birth without it either, perpetuating lies generationally and instilling fear and doubt where trust and love should reside. 

What happens when we tell women that their body is a lemon? Worst case scenario - SHE BELIEVES IT. Not only will this affect her birth and maybe even her ability or desire to breastfeed - but, this is also what she will inevitably pass on to her children. If she has a girl, how will she empower her and her body image? How will she teach her to bleed, birth, and breastfeed her daughter if she herself was never empowered in these things? How will she teach her son that women are strong and do NOT "need" rescuing? How will she normalize bleeding, birth, and breastfeeding for HIM and his future partner? These are things we're not thinking about or talking about enough. 

If 90% of women are giving birth from a "damsel in distress" mentality - that naturally puts interventions and the people who offer them in the position of a "knight and shining armor".   

Whether that is with drugs, epidural, cesarean, etc - it's just a simple fact that we live in a culture where the medical field has portrayed themselves as being our "birth super heroes" - convincing us it can't be done without them and their fancy science - and if you DON'T give birth in the hospital than you CLEARLY don't care about your baby. How quickly we forget that it's only been about 100 years since we started giving birth in hospitals with the aid of obstetricians (who are NOT natural/normal childbirth experts, by the way - they are surgeons and specialists of high risk pregnancy. MOST very rarely actually see any natural births). They have done such a good job of creating this "hero" persona, that the majority of families don't do much independent education or research on giving birth or breastfeeding - instead they blindly hand over their care to anyone with a lab coat. RARELY do people question credibility or knowledge or suggested tests or procedures. It doesn't help that there is real bullying that goes on here to encourage people to "fall in line" to the "normal way of doing things" - and that the language used and the way it is delivered feels very much "routine" - like, this is what all the women must go through, right? How would YOU know - it's not like you have babies every day, but they "help" women give birth all the time, right?? "They know what they are doing."      .......right? 

So, why does everyone keep telling you you "can't" do it?? Does it make you feel naive and scared? I mean, how can you sit here and tell a woman who "was in labor for 4 days and couldn't have done it without her epidural - and her OB was so great and gave her the best cesarean...oh, and if she wasn't at the hospital her baby would be dead, too...." that YOU are going to have a different experience when REALLY you have NO CLUE what it's going to be like for you. Especially if it's your first baby! 

When you find yourself in this situation, please don't shy away and say nothing - allowing yourself to be bullied into their belief system.

First, remember that we are ALL mirrors walking around talking to our own reflections. When the topic of birth (or anything) is brought up, we relate to our own stories which become our individual truths - we see ourselves in that person. Then, we reflect that truth back to one another. This is why there is so much conflict in the world!! People have difficulty believing that their truth isn't everyone's truth. "We can't both be right".
....but, we can. 

Can women have an amazing epidural or cesarean? YES! Why not? BUT, does that mean that she then has the right to go around telling pregnant women how awful labor is and how glad she was that she got all the interventions available to her - and that they should just give in now and sign up for the same because "you're going to want it anyways"? Um. NO.

Second, ASK QUESTIONS!! When someone starts telling you a horror story, start asking questions! 
How did they prepare for birth? Did they feel like they were an active participant in their care - helping make decisions along the way, OR, did they just let them do their thing? What kind of birth did she even WANT?! Did they hire a doula / what kind of support did she have? A lot of the time you can easily connect the dots to lack of preparation, blind trust, or complete lack of interest in giving birth naturally anyways. These things will give you a clearer picture to the story. Not just, "OMG, we would have DIED if I didn't get / wasn't at XYZ" (this can count home birth, too - we also realize there are a lot of "hard core natural birth" mamas out there that DO shame the intervention mamas). 

The bottom line is this. YOU are writing your story and other people's positivity or negativity can influence you however YOU chose to let it. If you want to give birth naturally, then, don't let people stop you from believing in your ability to do that and start surrounding yourself with others who will encourage you - and tell people who aren't encouraging you to STFU. Seriously. We've GOT to start putting haters in their place. There is absolutely a way to share birth stories without perpetuating fear and it's usually as simple as adding "I do wish you the best and hope you have a beautiful birth and baby! I know you're going to be a great mom!"  

For those of us lucky enough to be surrounded by supportive family and friends, take a moment and be deeply grateful. We're living in such a generational gap right now where most of our moms and grandmoms actually preferred completely medicated births and saw breastfeeding as inferior to formula and was associated with poverty. It's up to US to change the story for not only ourselves, but, because of the impact it has on our future generations. 

An "Authoritative power" is when someone is perceived as an expert in a field. We are much less likely to question someone who appears to be an expert or authority. Instead, it's common to "go with" whatever the recommendation is. We keep hearing over and over from women that they feel "hurried", unsupported and even downright bullied in appointments in many medical settings, especially in situations where anything is outside of the 'norm' is what the family is going for. It's very hard to find a voice for ourselves and our babies in a system that HAS to filter through a mass amount of people every. single. day. 

Which leads us to this crack in our system.

Because, guess what? ....The truth is, MOST women rely on their nurses, OB's/Midwives, Pediatricians, Doulas, etc. for breastfeeding advice - however, there is often VERY little requirement for this knowledge in these professions. 

We're talking 1-8 hours of info on average for each of them, and depending on where they are getting their info - the knowledge could be outdated or completely wrong altogether. I was required to take a 3 hour class and read 2 books on the subject for my doula training....so - yes - I'm calling out doulas here, too. 

As a professional, if I wanted to be an expert at supporting breastfeeding mothers, I had to seek out the education and information on my own beyond my requirements, AND, I had to be humble enough to know when someone needed help beyond my knowledge or experience. Believe it or not, or - whether we want to admit it or not - there is a LOT of EGO in the birth-y and medical world and not a lot of people want to admit they are wrong or that they don't know something. I'm somewhere in the middle and from here it's all too clear that each "side" is full of people who make mistakes. Myself included. I think it's time we stop trying to be so right all the time and start trying to learn from each other and give and get support from one another. But....I digress. 

My point is this: Do not hand over your trust to just anyone. Find out how they know what they know and if it doesn't seem to resonate with you, trust your intuition and maybe seek out a second opinion while doing your own research as well. Whatever you do - please know that you ARE NOT STUPID and that it is your responsibility to ask questions and find satisfactory answers that work for YOU and YOUR baby. Rely on dependable online resources, and, KNOW WHEN TO CONSULT A SPECIALIST. A Lactation Consultant or Breastfeeding Counselor is going to be far more qualified to give you more accurate personalized care to help you and your baby get nursing down. But, even LC's and BC's have been known to be too quick to throw a nipple shield at a mama. 

This all has been on my mind so much over the past few years, which is why I connected with Kelly Emery to create a class specifically for birth workers because I believe it is important that ANYONE giving advice for breastfeeding in any capacity - MUST know what they are talking about as well as the resources available to them when a deeper level of care is necessary. I'm really hoping to give professionals accurate and helpful information along with the skills necessary to provide better support to breastfeeding mothers so we can all be the experts we are naturally perceived to be. 

I want to note that there are PLENTY of kick ass nurses, OB's, Pediatricians, Doulas, Midwives, etc. who support nursing mamas all the time and deserve a great deal of praise. This article is in no way meant to offend anyone - it's meant to encourage the consumer to take accountability for their care and to ASK QUESTIONS. I think we can all agree that is ALWAYS a good thing.

STEP ONE.
ASK QUESTIONS - and don't be afraid to question a perceived expert (ie: OB, Midwife, Nurse, Hospital Staff, Doulas, Lactation Consultants, etc) on ANY topic pertaining to your care.

The first thing we would encourage every parent to learn is HOW to inquire about treatments for you or your baby. This is not exclusive to birth! You should always question and know what any procedure is and why it is being performed on you or your children. The best way to approach this is from a place of respect for the professional. Have you ever heard the phrase you "catch more flies with honey"? It's true when working with anyone, and medical professionals are certainly no exception. You have to remember - a LOT of people don't really ask any questions - and even fewer will question a doctor's recommendation. Even if it doesn't seem like the extra time to answer your questions is convenient - ask anyways and get satisfactory answers you feel you fully understand. This is their job and they are getting paid plenty of money to be your CARE PROVIDER. (And, no, this is NOT exclusive to OB's. Midwives and Doulas make mistakes, too. ALWAYS ASK.)

STEP TWO.
TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY - It's not a pretty truth, but, you ARE just a number in a sea of people having babies in a system designed to accommodate our mass production of humans - and no - it is NOT anyone's responsibility to accurately inform and educate you on pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding or parenting. If you want to be informed, you HAVE to seek it out.

BUT...

This is a great part of the initiation into parenthood. 

By exercising our voice and making our own informed decisions, we become parents who are more capable of speaking up for and being good role models to our children. When we take responsibility for our births, in many ways, what we're really doing is creating autonomy for ourselves. By doing this, we are stepping into our power as parents.

STEP THREE:
EVERYTHING SHOULD BE A CONVERSATION. A lot of times the things that are done in birth are done so nonchalantly that you wouldn't even think to question it. 

But, seriously....QUESTION IT.

Even the way it's said makes it seem harmless or extremely routine. For example: "Oh, we're just going to break your water now. That'll probably get your labor moving right along." If you didn't know any better you wouldn't bat a lash. That sounds good, right?! You want to be done with this, too! Why wouldn't I want to go with that? Just be aware and informed. You have every right to ask questions and SAY NO to things you see as unnecessary. 

STEP FOUR:
IF IT AIN'T BROKE - DON'T FIX IT. The general rule of thumb is, if mom and baby are managing labor fine and nothing is "broken", then do nothing and focus on keeping mom comfortable and PATIENT. 

Your baby WILL come out of you. One way or another there is always an end, so, let it play out like it's going to - not how you or anyone else thinks it should. Give your baby and your body the benefit of the doubt!

STEP FIVE:
DON'T WASTE EARLY LABOR IN THE HOSPITAL OR EVEN WITH YOUR DOULA. Honestly, one of the best ways to avoid unnecessary or unwanted interventions is to spend your time wisely in labor - but please don't look at the clock. 

Ignore, distract and REST. Go nig-night. SLEEP. You're going to need it. This is your time to lay around and get in a relaxed love cocoon with your partner and simply rest in that space for as long as you can. If you go right into the hospital, you're not going to sleep (or eat) like you would at home and your window for interventions will be much wider. Even if you call in your birth team too early you might miss out on this valuable down time and find yourself exhausted when "real" labor kicks in. You generally want your birth team to come when you actually need help coping with your contractions and to try and get where you're going to have the baby once ACTIVE labor hits. Follow your intuition (obviously), but, generally - labor usually takes a long time - so - give yourself TIME. 

SO - There you go!
These are just SOME of our secrets to avoiding interventions. (we can't give it ALL away, right? ;) If you want to know more, contact us and we'll talk about your options and situation. 

Below is a compilation of videos and links to help you get a better understanding for this issue and to be more specifically informed on many potential interventions.

This is quickly becoming a thing of the past unless absolutely necessary - FOR OBVIOUS REASONS, you really want to avoid this. It is FAR better to tear than get cut. 

The first thing we would encourage every parent to learn is HOW to inquire about treatments for you or your baby. This is not exclusive to birth! You should always question and know what any procedure is being performed on you or your children. 

Here is a basic guideline of questions:

• Why is this necessary?  
• What is involved?  
• What are the risks involved?  
• Are there any alternatives?  
• What happens if we do nothing/wait an hour/day etc?  
• How will this change my care?

(Copy these down and keep them in your wallet for yourself so they are handy if/when the situation arises.)

Cesarean birth is something Crowning Lotus believes should be reserved as the last resort and only used in truly medically necessary situations because they are risky to both mother and baby and make the postpartum period much more difficult to get through.  So, how can a cesarean be avoided?

Throughout your pregnancy, be sure to focus on the following:

• Getting a supportive Care Provider & Birth Location
  
• Proper support from a professional (Doula)
• Nutrition
  
• Exercise (yoga, walking, etc) 
  
• Proper alignment for you and your babe (Spinning Babies & Chiropractic)
  
• Meditation and Visualization of the birth outcome you desire
  
• Support groups online & Positive birth stories
  
• Being fully and factually informed of ALL of your options
  
• Using your voice & being an advocate for yourself throughout your pregnancy & Labor
• Avoiding unnecessary inductions &  interventions. 

That being said, sometimes a woman does need to get a cesarean (just not 1 out of 3 of them). For these cases, we are thankful that we have this modern technology to save our mothers and babies and we want these women to know that they are still giving birth to their babies - and that is sacred and special. It's not always how they get here....it's that they get here safely!

We work hard to help the families that we work with to have the most sacred and beautiful cesarean birth experience possible - because we believe that bringing a baby into the world, no matter "how", matters. We create a family-centered plan 'just in case' or for planned cesareans. Doulas are essential to this process as well!! We can not only maintain that grounded level of peace and calm, but we can help mom process and heal as well as help her establish breastfeeding and aid recovery.

Below is a compilation of videos and links the we have put together to help you get a better understanding for this issue. It is ever growing, so check back every so often or leave suggestions for links and videos in comments! 

• All the information you could ever need on Cesarean Sections
• Sacred Cesarean
• Birthing Through A Cesarean Opening; A Guided Imagery for Women Who Had A Cesarean 
• A More Natural Approach To The Cesarean 
• WHAT TO EXPECT OF YOUR BODY AFTER A C-SECTION

From Baths, to Teas, Salves and more - we incorporate the power and ancient knowledge of Herbs and Essential Oils into our luxury line of herbal products which enhance the lives and health of the people we work with. We find that the more popular these methods of healing become, the more questions come up and potential bad advice can be given. It's important to respect the power of herbs and oils and to know what you are doing and why you are doing it when working with them. Intention and Knowledge are key. If you are not sure about something or are not trained in, you should absolutely consult with a professional. Don't rely on "google" research and remain skeptical of advice you get online. I am a trained professional and rely on that knowledge to create blends of oils and herbs for specific needs and are considered safe for virtually everyone...but, we all have specific circumstances that need to be considered. Allergies, conditions, etc. may all contribute to reasons why certain herbs and oils may not be right for you. Pay attention to your body's reaction to everything you use and if it doesn't feel right, stop using it and consult your doctor or a professional. 

THAT being said, let's talk about the proper way to brew teas and infusions and let's also discuss the difference. 

So...what's the difference between a tea and an infusion? Basically - time and potency. When herbs are introduced to hot water they release their nutrients (vitamins, minerals, etc). The longer the herbs are in the water, the stronger and more concentrated the water becomes with the nutrients of the herb. A cup of tea can be brewed anywhere between a couple of minutes to generally no more than 20. In contrast, an infusion will sit for hours. 


I'm sure that many of us know how to brew a cup of tea, but, I bet a lot of people don't - so I'm going to break down the brewing possibilities here for you. I also recommend checking out Susun Weed's "How To Make Infusions". 

Brewing Tea:
There are a few different options here. There is the loose leaf method, or you can use a wire mesh ball, paper or cloth tea bags which contains the herbs (either pre-made or manually stuffed and sealed). There are other ways as well, but we're going to focus on your basic brewing method using a ball or tea bag.